Stop everything: FOU just landed at Colombiamoda

The FOU that was traveling through the Milky Way without really knowing where to refuel its ship.

The interstellar GPS told it it was passing through the Solar System, where it had already been several times. Mars was too arid, Venus too tempting. No, this time it was going to visit Earth. The buddies from the celestial farm near Antares had told it that the trip down there was worth the ride.

It looked up Earth plans on Instagram and saw something about an amazing party in Medellín. So FOU contacted the bosses at the International Space Station and set its trajectory with a message for the future: “Fou has landed at Colombiamoda.”

Before the crew at the station or the Colombiamoda organizers could give it permission, FOU had already shifted the turbo-rocket into second gear and was about to arrive. Through the windows it began to see that blue planet growing larger, and it thought about the mythological creatures that lived there.

They had told it some pretty wild things about them, like that they take off their clothes so they can then undress each other, or that there was a saying that went “better dead than basic,” and that this was basically humanity’s mantra.

It came down through Highway 30, stopped in Sabaneta for some buñuelos, and they wouldn’t let it into the fair—said it looked too much like a martian.

It knew it shared a name with a clothing brand, FOU.

So it snuck into the warehouse and took the shape of a pair of sunglasses. The designers and executives of the FOU brand put them on, and the FOU walked right in as if nothing.

It made sure to send a message, using Plaza Mayor’s Wi-Fi, to its homies in Area 51:

“Parce, the culottes look fire, there are several sizes, ask for what you don’t see—yep, the little denim warehouse.”

It had to watch the runway up close and thought:
“This FOU has landed at Colombiamoda.”